APATHY AND GOALS

Last year I achieved my Doctorate in Physical Therapy from the amazing program at USC. After that, I went on to specialize in orthopedics, again at USC. Then, I went to surf incredible waves in Nicaragua. #humblebrag I don't say this to toot my own horn or to brag, but merely to set up what I would like to write about and some of the things I have been thinking about the last week. In addition, circumstances were such that I had to leave

THIS

FOR THIS

For the last 4 years I have called southern California home. I fell in love with LA, with the weather, the sights, smells, the beach, my ward, and surfing. I have constantly been working towards something for pretty much my entire life. It was first finish high school, next was serve a mission, after that was get a bachelor's and get in to grad school, moving on was finish grad school, do a residency, and finally get a job. I was constantly moving forward and focused on something that was obtainable. I since have completed all of those things, but during the course of that journey I found myself needing to move, away from the life I had cultivated and loved in southern CA, back to Mesa, AZ. A place where I really haven't lived for the better part of 11 years.

I suddenly had a lot more time on my hands and no real urgency or pressing things to accomplish. I had accomplished everything up to this point that I had set out to do. I have thought about what I wanted to accomplish professionally but in the broad strokes and I am just starting a career so I hadn't really thought about much else other than landing a job that was going to pay me close to what I wanted. Check. I started to realize that I was watching a lot more movies, sleeping a lot more, losing motivation, and starting to slip in to apathy. I felt completely lost, like a ship on the water rudderless, being tossed to and fro. I had always wanted more time to do what I wanted to do, but when I finally got it I didn't know what to do with it. Perhaps the biggest realization was that I wasn't happy.

I've been thinking a lot about what I needed in my life and after I got over the self pity I decided that I need goals and direction. This weekend helped me see that. I had the opportunity to watch my cousin achieve her goal of getting her 3rd degree black belt in Kajukenbo, I worked on a building a fence with my bro-in-law and in the process learned how to weld.

I thought how amazing it would be to accomplish what she had, not to mention the skill I would have. I was happy and felt a sense of satisfaction and purpose after working with my bro-in-law. There are still so many things that I need to work on about myself, books to read, skills to learn, and life to enjoy. The possibilities are endless. There is so much good in the world to accomplish; so much service to give. Today in sacrament meeting and in sunday school I made a plan and set some goals. Made a schedule for the week and ways to accomplish those goals. Today I felt happier than I have in a long time. I feel like there is a direction to my life again, and I am excited to for the adventure I am about to embark on.